Revisit the the Shock Lands of Ravnica with a silly personality quiz
With the newest release of Ravnica Remastered playmats, it’s the perfect time to revisit the bustling guild-powered city of Ravnica! With so much history, lore and (sometimes catastrophically) differing personal philosophies between them, it’s easy to become a little overwhelmed by the ten unique guilds of Ravnica and their corresponding Shock Lands. Each guild is so different in its priorities, ideologies, and preferences that they can almost seem like entire living entities all their own, often representing huge swaths of the city of Ravnica and looming larger than life with their storied presence. In honor of the newest line of Ravnica Remastered playmats featuring brand new Shock Lands artwork for each guild, let’s take a look at each guild as if they were one singular person; more specifically, one of your close friends! Curious which guild your friends would best be aligned with? Then read on, and ready yourself for a (rather silly) reading of Ravnican guilds!
The Boros Legion - (Shock Land: Sacred Foundry)
Friends who fit best into the Boros Legion are very competitive and love physical and outdoor activities, always wanting to prove themselves and show off their talents whenever possible. They make great gym companions, and are the perfect pal for playing team sports with, too. You have to be careful, though, because the Boros buddy can often be hot-headed, reacting emotionally without thinking, and will sometimes storm off if they suspect things aren’t going their way. They can be a little single-minded as well, often satisfied with a rather black-and-white way of thinking: something is either good or bad, right or wrong, worthy or not. If you’re brave, you can try to show them a new way of looking at the world, but sometimes it’s best to just leave them to their own opinions. One thing is for sure, though: the Boros friend always has your back, without question, and will come to your aid no matter the situation.
Likes: spotting you at the gym, sports matches at the local pub, protein powder, first-person shooter games
Dislikes: anyone they perceive as weak minded, movies without car chases, losing
Favorite music: Alt-metal, thrash-metal, rap-metal
Fashion preferences: anything moisture wicking. Sleeveless tanks, cargo shorts and trucker hats are always popular
House Dimir - (Shock Land: Watery Grave)
The House Dimir friend is famously elusive. Not only are they hard to get a hold of, they’re hard to make plans with. You might see them once every six months if you’re lucky, but when you do, you have the time of your life. They’ll show you hole-in-the-wall restaurants you’ve never heard of, drag you to Goth bars you didn’t know existed, and have you running around sketchy parts of town you were always afraid to check out. They somehow know everyone’s business wherever they go, but no one knows anything about them, and their social allegiance remains a mystery to you. You never fully trust them, but the fact that they’re still willing to let you see a small glimpse of their exciting life is a good enough indicator of their affection. In fact, you sometimes wonder why they want to be your friend at all, since their life sounds so much more interesting than yours, but it’s best not to question it.
Likes: Leaving you on read, late night bar hopping, tinted windows, leaving an aura of mystery in their wake
Dislikes: Opening up, staying in one place for too long, anyone knowing their business
Favorite music: An eclectic mix that never seems to stick to a single genre. One minute it’s trance, rap, and vapor-wave, the next it’s shoegaze, EDM and obscure Japanese synth from the 1980’s.
Fashion preferences: All black, all the time. Don’t forget the sunglasses.
The Selesnya Conclave - (Shock Land: Temple Garden)
The Selesnya friend is as granola as they come. They love yoga, artisanally crafted organic kombucha, and long nature retreats involving bulgur wheat and not wearing shoes. The Selesnya friend is unburdened with the weight of modern technology, so don’t expect much phone contact from them. They are, however, quite calming to be around, making them the perfect friend to take hiking, thrifting, or to just lie in the grass listening to music and staring at the stars with. Their ideologies and opinions are often a little wacky, but they’re always willing to lend a hand when you’re in need, and are very resourceful. Because they care so deeply for nature and all living things, they have a lot of strong beliefs about preserving it at all costs, and are never afraid to speak up for what they believe in, no matter who hears it. This can lead to stances so strong that they become almost cult-like in their nature, and you sometimes have to redirect them to a more, uh, traditional head space before they completely lose themselves in their cause. It’s worth it though: they give really good back rubs.
Likes: Community gardens, holistic healing, Renn Faires, radical protests
Dislikes: Excessive violence, social media, deodorant, anyone who doesn’t respect nature
Favorite music: psychedelic rock, music with a lot of pan flute melodies, Phish
Fashion preferences: Anything reused, recycled, homemade or found at the community rummage sale. Think hand-knit caftans, vintage shearling coats, and second-hand hiking boots.
The Golgari Swarm - (Shock Land: Overgrown Tomb)
The Golgari Swarm friend is a little….out there. They’re into freaky stuff, and you’re always just along for the ride. They have a morbid fascination with death and all things unusual, and a dark, often self-deprecating sense of humor. You frequently have to play the role of the moral support with this friend, as they tend to fall into depressive episodes when their self-esteem craters, and you have to be there to pick them back up. A little pushing and prodding (and helping them clear up their increasingly mess-filled spaces) is sometimes necessary to bring out the best in the Golgari Swarm companion, but it’s always worth it in the end: their supremely weird sense of humor always makes you laugh. They are easily outcast by others as the strange recluse type, but you know they have a secret, endearing love of nature, and when you can get them to leave their room, they enjoy strolling silently through the misty woods, searching for cool bugs or strange fungi growths to share with you.
Likes: dark internet memes, “reality” shows about ghosts, cryptids & aliens, mushroom foraging, dystopian fiction
Dislikes: being the center of attention, talking about themselves, society’s fear of death and dying
Favorite music: sludge metal, grindcore, death metal,
Fashion preferences: Pattern clashing, faded band t-shirts, the same pair of ripped black jeans every day
The Izzet League - (Shock Land: Steam Vents)
The classic Nerd comrade, Izzet League friends love nothing more than geeking out with you over shared interests. They can spend hours searching for the perfect custom computer parts, building themed Commander decks for MTG, or hashing out the best min/max strategies for the latest video game. Whether it’s perusing the local comic book shop, playing tabletop RPGs, or just watching sci-fi movies, the Izz friend is always down to hang out, especially if it revolves around your favorite hobbies. While they aren’t always the best at leaving their comfort zone, and sometimes become a little too obsessive about their niche interests, they will never judge you for your own personal pastimes, and are the perfect friend to take to conventions, local meetups, or just to voice chat while playing puzzle games together.
Likes: Collectible toys, board game nights, barcades, browsing hyper-specific forums
Dislikes: Too many social activities back to back, people questioning their knowledge, spending money on non-hobby essentials
Favorite music: Math rock, video game OSTs, lo-fi/chillhop
Fashion preferences: Punny graphic tees, zip-ups and sneakers
